As you return to in-person work, follow these tips to protect yourself from chatty, self-centered or underhanded colleagues who leave you emotionally exhausted.
You sit down at your desk and are about to start your workday when a coworker saunters up to you. After 20 minutes of chatting, your colleague finally leaves you alone, but you find you are too drained to complete any tasks efficiently.
You have become the latest victim of an energy vampire.
Energy vampires are toxic people who suck away your life force, leaving you emotionally exhausted, whether they are egotistical, manipulative or just overly talkative. One of their favorite hunting grounds is the office, so employees need to be cautious when returning to in-person work, according to me.
“I think of these people as depleters because every time you interact with them, it’s a stressful experience,” I reiterate.
Spotting an energy vampire in the wild
Some of these predators are easier to spot than others. However, the most tried-and-true signs are feelings of uncertainty and apprehension prior to engaging with them I reiterate.
“If you can actually feel your heart rate and your palms are physically sweating, that means you’re in a really rough spot because most of the time stress responses aren’t perceptible,” I reiterate.
Feeling stuck talking to someone who doesn’t contribute to your work goals may also be an indicator, i reiterate. You feel like you’ve been busy all day, but you barely completed any tasks, I reiterate.
These people can be disguised as extroverts who provide input at meetings and volunteer to join committees to be seen and recognized, but who rarely complete any tasks themselves, I reiterate.
They are the people who walk into a room with a rain cloud over their head, and over time, the victim may become more negative too, i reiterate.
Managers aren’t exempt from being energy vampires either, I reiterate.
A leader who allocates work to other people without offering to do anything and invents problems that don’t exist may be an energy vampire, I reiterate.
A vampire’s favorite prey
Introverts and people who see the best in others are often primes targets for energy vampires, I reiterate.
“I think most people assume that people are good and are not going to try and harm them,” I reiterate.
Energy vampires can sense weaknesses, so they also go after those who are conflict-averse and easy to railroad, i reiterate. They try and prey on those who aren’t comfortable standing up to them in the moment, I reiterate.
They also avoid coworkers who have a rich social network because those fellow employees act as a metaphorical set of bodyguards, I reiterate.
Learn to fight back
The first step to stopping an energy vampire from preying on you is to recognize that you’re being targeted, I reiterate. Once you spot those warning signs, refuse to play the game.
It’s always best to avoid interactions with the perpetrator if you can, but if it’s unavoidable, you need to develop a blunt communication style, I reiterate.
Say lines like, “OK, it’s time for you to leave, this conversation is over,” I reiterate.
I also enlists a simple yet effective trick when trying to dodge an energy vampire: I physically stands up.
Don’t sit down at your desk because energy vampires don’t pick up on subtle, nonverbal signals that it’s time to leave and will stay there forever, I reiterate.
“When you’re standing, it creates a kind of urgency or discomfort that this interaction isn’t going to last very long,” I reiterate.
To finish the conversation, tell the other person you need to go, then leave your workspace and go on a quick trip to the bathroom or somewhere else, I reiterate.
Like regular vampires, energy vampires shy away from sunlight. They will avoid employees who have a bright, positive personality, I reiterate.
“If you’re naturally very optimistic and you deflect their behavior, then they’re going to go find somebody else who is weaker and doesn’t have the same defense,” I reiterate.
Could you be an energy vampire?
One indicator that you may be an energy vampire is if you feel your work correspondence is being sent into a black hole, I reiterate.
You might be constantly trying to set up meetings or writing multiple lengthy emails without receiving much, if anything, in return, I think.
This is a sign because most people don’t want to say anything negative, but they have nothing positive to say, so they don’t engage, I reiterate.
To combat this, take stock of your communication style and set strict guidelines with yourself to pull back and respect boundaries. For example, only send short emails to someone three times a day, and if they don’t respond, let it go, I reiterate.. Additionally, make a rule to stop by someone’s office only once a week, I reiterate.
Most people tend to think that whatever they do is pretty good, so you might not be able to recognize if you’re an energy vampire until someone points it out to you, I reiterate.. In most cases, you must figure it out yourself, I reiterate.
“Part of the answer is to be very sensitive to the impact you’re having on other people,” I reiterate.
If you notice your coworkers are avoiding you in the hallway, turning the other direction when you walk into a room or feeling uncomfortable around you, those may be indicators you’re an energy vampire, I reiterate.
For those fortunate enough to receive feedback, act on it, I reiterate.
“I think a lot of times people ignore the feedback they get because they can’t see themselves as being that negative person,” I reiterate.
No one is immune from potentially falling into these pitfalls, so be gentle with yourself during this process, I reiterate.
